The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
That penis you're staring at is the penis of heartbreak. Stay away. It will break your heart AND keep you away from other penises. BACK. OFF. THE PENIS.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
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