I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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