So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
