Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
