Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
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