I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
