he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
