Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
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Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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