a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
We told the cop that we were playing soccer, in flip flops, and 2:30 in the morning. It was raining and i had board shorts on. He bought it, lets go get drunk
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