Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Randomize
