You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
