I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
