Whod you bang
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
