Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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