im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Randomize
