did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
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