At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
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