Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize