I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
