stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
She's walking down the sidewalk with a notebook, a pencil, and a box of cheez its while yelling profanities at small animals.... I'm going 2 ask her where she was before this.
Randomize
