I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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