My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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