just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
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