Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Randomize
