I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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