I just threw up on my dentist
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
