I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
