he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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