Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
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