Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
This can't be good. I've realized that I weigh less in the morning after I have had a blackout drunk night than when I work out and eat healthy.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
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