i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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