Texts From Last Night

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  (970): View more from Colorado

  The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.

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  (970): The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito. http://tfl.nu/8dlm
  Replies (23) Good night (585) Bad night (3270)
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  (507): View more from Minnesota

  We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.

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  (507): We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them. http://tfl.nu/g8a0
  Replies (20) Good night (3430) Bad night (918)
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  (567): View more from Ohio

  you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.

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  (567): you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often. http://tfl.nu/8to5
  Replies (6) Good night (3226) Bad night (662)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.

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  (563): I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase. http://tfl.nu/vq3r
  Replies (51) Good night (1069) Bad night (4479)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.

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  (678): Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards. http://tfl.nu/o7s2
  Replies (39) Good night (966) Bad night (5465)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...

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  (585): I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party... http://tfl.nu/k1nk
  Replies (10) Good night (1091) Bad night (4130)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.

  (301): View more from Maryland

  Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.

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  (301): I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO. (301): Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever. http://tfl.nu/txh9
  Replies (11) Good night (1968) Bad night (493)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?

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  (719): We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You? http://tfl.nu/a56a
  Replies (6) Good night (2089) Bad night (570)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym

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  (781): Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym http://tfl.nu/lv47
  Replies (2) Good night (1004) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever

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  (303): When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever http://tfl.nu/l7j2
  Replies (3) Good night (930) Bad night (522)
• Favorite

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Just skip

  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Please. i have SOME standards

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  (479): Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day. (501): Just skip (479): Please. i have SOME standards http://tfl.nu/0muv
  Replies (0) Good night (844) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (651): View more from Minnesota

  Well I just put wine in my tea

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  (651): Well I just put wine in my tea http://tfl.nu/sol7
  Replies (5) Good night (642) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (619): View more from California

  I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.

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  (619): I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs. http://tfl.nu/h2q5
  Replies (5) Good night (601) Bad night (289)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single

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  (719): It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single http://tfl.nu/v0bh
  Replies (3) Good night (479) Bad night (317)
• Favorite

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.

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  (484): Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower. http://tfl.nu/xncl
  Replies (4) Good night (300) Bad night (421)

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