Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.