I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
No he was cute and I said yes!
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
These 19 People Had Awkward Celebrity Sex Dreams
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
These 27 People Had No Idea What They Were Doing When It Came To Sex
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.