Texts From Last Night

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  (682): View more from Texas

  It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good

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  (682): It's what's on the inside that counts<div>(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good</div> http://tfl.nu/bhrm
  Replies (2) Good night (956) Bad night (1101)
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  (706): View more from Georgia

  Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".

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  (706): Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe". http://tfl.nu/cnav
  Replies (7) Good night (2633) Bad night (862)
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  (214): View more from Texas

  The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.

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  (214): The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson. http://tfl.nu/pxr8
  Replies (286) Good night (4431) Bad night (4397)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?

  (1-727): View more from Florida

  I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.

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  (727): Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think? (1-727): I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again. http://tfl.nu/gesf
  Replies (32) Good night (2878) Bad night (4769)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to

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  (443): I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to http://tfl.nu/dg5k
  Replies (2) Good night (1272) Bad night (3668)
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  (416): View more from Toronto

  Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...

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  (416): Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card... http://tfl.nu/vpen
  Replies (9) Good night (4304) Bad night (972)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.

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  (270): Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night. http://tfl.nu/gp7l
  Replies (7) Good night (2620) Bad night (1549)
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  (715): View more from Wisconsin

  Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.

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  (715): Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober. http://tfl.nu/abtg
  Replies (2) Good night (3600) Bad night (1050)
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  (505): View more from New Mexico

  Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.

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  (505): Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold. http://tfl.nu/drpi
  Replies (6) Good night (1717) Bad night (758)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.

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  (304): My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger. http://tfl.nu/dtz4
  Replies (5) Good night (2062) Bad night (608)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad

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  (513): Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad http://tfl.nu/ehr3
  Replies (8) Good night (1118) Bad night (2242)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?

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  (717): I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen? http://tfl.nu/h6xb
  Replies (10) Good night (540) Bad night (907)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.

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  (+44): I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever. http://tfl.nu/7r8h
  Replies (2) Good night (1039) Bad night (383)
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  (714): View more from California

  I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.

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  (714): I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD. http://tfl.nu/naxc
  Replies (4) Good night (306) Bad night (758)
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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.

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  (808): Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out. http://tfl.nu/dk9u
  Replies (1) Good night (257) Bad night (490)

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