I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
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i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
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Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me