ADVERTISEMENT

• (651): View more from Minnesota

  I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.

  Fav 7 3355 652

  share tweet
  

• (502): View more from Kentucky

  You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.

  Fav 5 890 4925

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (716): View more from New York

  She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met

  Fav 10 1034 4923

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in

  Fav 15 7349 1351

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (630): View more from Illinois

  i think the doormans mad at me

  (773): View more from Illinois

  well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...

  Fav 12 1578 2815

  share tweet
  

• (859): View more from Kentucky

  I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.

  Fav 4 2122 968

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (315): View more from New York

  Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.

  Fav 18 2619 886

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  my mom just walked in on me in the shower doing the "ass hair shave" pose.

  Fav 16 956 2589

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I think she's perpetually drunk

  (484): View more from Pennsylvania

  It's all she knows

  Fav 1 1616 872

  share tweet
  
• 

  27 Socially Expected Things That Are The Absolute Worst

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (202): View more from Washington, DC

  Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.

  Fav 14 3098 1022

  share tweet
  

• (845): View more from New York

  The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.

  Fav 3 1156 683

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (505): View more from New Mexico

  Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.

  Fav 3 464 1017

  share tweet
  

• (917): View more from New York City

  She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them

  Fav 13 639 1030

  share tweet
  

• (254): View more from Texas

  Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.

  Fav 0 655 273

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (919): View more from North Carolina

  The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me

  Fav 4 94 53

  share tweet
  

Randomize