Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
My vagina is glad I'm back at work because it needs a vacation after working all through my vacation.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to