please tell me if i'm home and in my bed
negative
come find me please
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
He changed his profile picture to him as a baby. Definitely a turn off. This will help in my "don't-be-a-slut-endeavors"
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
