So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
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