if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
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I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Well some days you just have to get blackout drunk and try to speak Spanish to French Canadian strangers
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
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Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.