i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
29 People Confess The Worst Example Of Dirty Talk They’ve Ever Heard
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
I just got carded by a ten year old.
21 Women Compare Anal and Vaginal Sex
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I'm like, not good at living.