I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Randomize