my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
