I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
So wise, so handsome, so good at oral sex.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Randomize
