No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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