Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
