omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
Verdict: uncircumcised.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
