i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
I smell like a mix of alcohol, sweat, and sex and its only 10 AM
Randomize
