Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
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