Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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