I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
Randomize
