I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Randomize
