hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
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