Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Randomize
