I hate all girls vehemently.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
cmon you know I'm perfectly capable of something that ridiculous 100% sober
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize