I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
