Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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