high people should be assigned attendants
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
His beard is glorious and he smells like barbecue. Introduce me to him.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
