I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
i used baking grease as lip gloss
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
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