i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
