FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
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Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
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