Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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