return my video game
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
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