Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
Randomize
