remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
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