but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Can't talk, ducks in the car
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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