So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
so hey instead of everyone buying me a birthday present can everyone just pitch in for my abortion?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize